Sandy River Singles Friday Flex @ Dabney
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Event Details
About This League
Friday flex after flex at Dabney. The Columbia Gauntlet demands survivors—currently accepting applications. $50 ace pot guaranteed by FL!PT. 🌊⚰️
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
*adjusts headset* Welcome back to The Culling, where the Columbia River isn't a scenic backdrop—it's the arena. This week on the Merchant Ships, we're witnessing what happens when disc golf meets 19th-century logistics trauma. Spoiler: the river's winning.
The Gauntlet Opens
You are not adventurers. You are cargo. The Columbia Gauntlet is an 8-week survival simulation where efficiency isn't a strategy—it's the difference between deck and drowning. Choose your faction: the Iron Ledger (where spreadsheets kill) or the Rotted Hull (where chaos reigns and rust is fashion).
Current status: Week 2, 'River Toll,' and attendance has been... *checks survival board* ...consumed by the current. The gauntlet is actively gauntlet-ing people, and we need bodies to replace the ballast.
When to Die
Flex start from 7:00 AM to 4:40 PM because apparently death-by-river is a 9-hour workday now. Shotgun start at 5:00 PM for those who want to go down together. Fridays until May 1st, or until the river's hunger is sated.
Faction Selection
- Iron Ledger: Accounting majors with trust funds. They view the river as a quarterly statement.
- Rotted Hull: Chaos goblins who think rust is a personality trait. They probably have a Joker figurine in their disc bag.
River's Toll
The Guarantee
FL!PT Leagues guarantees $50 minimum ace pot—because someone's gotta pay the ferryman. Current pot sits at $50, looking suspiciously like the guarantee itself. The river's eating well regardless of player participation.
Dabney State Park
Real river hazards with actual current. The Sandy doesn't negotiate, and neither do the blackberry brambles that'll shred your discs faster than your dignity. Elevation changes that'll have your calves filing union grievances.
*Important_information_we_must_include*: Dabney State Park—where the Sandy River's ponds, ravines, and blackberry brambles make every fairway feel like a river crossing. Miss your line and the current takes your disc and your ranking. FL!PT Leagues tallies the manifest: live scoring, automatic payouts, and a guaranteed ace pot. The river doesn't negotiate.
The Moist Towel Alliance
Brought to you by Moist Towel Disc Golf Club, whose actual mission is 'Stay Moist.' I... I don't want to know what that means. The club runs the legendary Moist Towel Mondays at McCormick, because apparently Friday wasn't enough trauma for one week.
All Hands on Deck
*Stares directly at the empty registration sheet* Last week's 'Merchants Embark' had zero survivors. ZERO. The gauntlet is currently just... gauntlet-ing itself. We need warm bodies to replace the ballast. This isn't a marketing pitch—this is a rescue operation for our collective entertainment economy.
The river doesn't care about your excuses, your schedule, or your discs. Show up Friday, flex when you want, or become part of Dabney's permanent disc graveyard. Your call, sailor. 🌊⚰️
Weather forecast will be available 2 days before the event
Dabney State Park
Sandy River Singles Layout
Sandy River Singles Friday Flex
Course Rules
Dabney State Park - Sandy River Singles Layout
General Notes
OB surrounded by water. OB concrete.
Layout Details
| Hole | Par | Feet |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 3 | 255 |
| 2 | 3 | 275 |
| 3 | 3 | 265 |
| 4 | 3 | 420 |
| 5 | 3 | 320 |
| 6 | 3 | 290 |
| 7 | 3 | 275 |
| 8 | 3 | 240 |
| 9 | 3 | 300 |
| 10 | 3 | 235 |
| 11 | 3 | 420 |
| 12 | 3 | 262 |
| 13 | 3 | 232 |
| 14 | 3 | 250 |
| 15 | 3 | 267 |
| 16 | 3 | 250 |
| 17 | 3 | 302 |
| 18 | 3 | 250 |
See how this league handles pro and amateur payouts.
Schedule
Week 1: Merchants Embark
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 2: River Toll
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 3: Hull Audit
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 4: Merchants Culling
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 5: Rapid Transit
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 6: Fog Delisting
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 7: River Reckoning
Course: Dabney State Park
Week 8: Final Manifest
Course: Dabney State Park
League
Organization & Directors
Need help? Message the league directors with event questions.
Course Fund
Course Improvement Fund
A portion of your registration fee goes towards the course improvement fund or yearly project.
