Marley's Warning

Marley Called, Fifteen Picked Up ⛓️

December 5th at Timmons Park, where fifteen brave souls answered the spectral summons for Week 1 of "A Chainsmas Carol." Mother Nature decided to dial back her apocalyptic forecast—41°F instead of the promised 37° deluge—proving that even weather spirits can show mercy. But mercy, dear readers, was in short supply elsewhere. Someone aced the $122 Super Ace hole and didn't buy into the pot. I present to you: Victorian tragedy in modern disc golf form. 👻

Four Lead Changes, One Ghost Standing

Hayden Peters (-8, 993 rated) emerged from the MPO spectral battlefield after trading blows with Valentin Lutsenko (-7) through eleven holes of lead changes—four times the crown passed between them before Peters finally exorcised his competition. Andrew Bright materialized with a 64-point rating surge to claim third, while Stephen Scoggins demonstrated the art of supernatural recovery, following a brutal +3 on hole 4 with an immediate birdie. Cayson Sloan suffered a different kind of haunting, finishing 116 points below his rating—apparently some spirits are less benevolent than others. 📊

Taylor's 121-Point Haunting 📈

Zach Taylor didn't just win MA1—he possessed it entirely. His wire-to-wire -11 performance, rated at 1030 (121 points above his 909), was so statistically perfect it bordered on supernatural. Bogey-free through all eighteen holes, Taylor played like a man who'd already seen the Ghost of Rounds Future and taken detailed notes. This wasn't disc golf; this was a clinical demonstration of what happens when the spirits align with your release point.

The Carol Singer Who Forgot to Pay

Cory Wickline claimed MA40 with a -2 performance, notching sole birdies on holes 4, 7, and 8 to edge Abe Mills (+2). But here's where our Dickensian morality tale takes center stage: Cory aced hole 17—the 215-foot, downhill tunnel through trees that was worth $122 in Super Ace money. The catch? He didn't buy into the pot. Somewhere, Jacob Marley's chains are rattling with laughter at this perfect lesson in reading the fine print. 💸

Armstrong's Chain of Chaos

MA3 delivered the most tortured scorecard of the evening, with Lewis Wickline and Jonathan Armstrong tying at +7. But Armstrong's round was pure chaos incarnate—he took and lost the lead seven times across eighteen holes, his scorecard reading like Marley himself had dictated every throw. Hot streaks followed by cold spells, par trains derailed by bogeys at the worst possible moments. If chains could tell stories, Armstrong's would be a gothic novel. ⛓️

Five Divisions, Five Lonely Ghosts

In the realm of uncontested hauntings, Eva Lutsenko (FPO, +1, 881) claimed wire-to-wire victory, as did David Mills (MA2, +5), Terry Howard (MA50, +4), Donald McIntyre (MA60, +17), and Mike Mathis (MP50, -6, 968). When you're the only spirit in your division, maintaining the lead becomes considerably easier—though the loneliness of solo rounds carries its own spectral weight. 👻

The Spirits Played Favorites

The supernatural forces clearly had preferences tonight. While Zach Taylor enjoyed a 121-point blessing and Andrew Bright received his 64-point surge, others weren't so fortunate. Valentin Lutsenko managed just one birdie all night—mercifully saved for hole 18. Stephen Scoggins dominated the front nine but faded on the back, finishing four strokes better on the front side. The ghosts, it seems, have a sense of dramatic timing. 🔮

Ledger Ghost Finds Its Vessel 📊

Zach Taylor has become the inaugural host for the Profit Phantom, our #1 bag tag born from corrupted ledgers and cold calculations. This merciless auditor of fairways, with its ghostly quill noting every instance where value is misplaced, found its perfect vessel in Taylor's perfectly balanced -11 performance. His 1030-rated round was fiscal responsibility given spectral form—not one stroke wasted, not one opportunity squandered. The Phantom's tarnished-copper aura now follows Taylor, whispering calculations and quantifying joy with ruthless precision.

$122 Still Haunts Hole 17

The ace that paid nothing continues to reverberate through Timmons Park. Cory Wickline's perfect throw down the 215-foot tunnel of trees on hole 17 was disc golf poetry—until the tragic realization that the $122 Super Ace pot remains unclaimed. The money sits there like Marley's ghost, waiting for someone who actually invested in the possibility. This, friends, is why we read the fine print before throwing chain-seeking missiles. 💔

The Specter of Skins Awaits

No skins action materialized in Week 1, but the opportunity lingers like morning mist over the mill pond. For those seeking additional ways to test their mettle against the supernatural forces of variance, Learn how to set up skins and join the spectral side action in future rounds. 🎲

Marley's Lesson in Opt-In Economics

Cory's ace-pot tragedy perfectly embodies Marley's warning about what we forfeit when we don't fully invest in community. Meanwhile, our fifteen players contributed $15 to the Timmons Course Fund through automatic $1 contributions—a modest but meaningful 2% progress toward our $1,000 goal. No specific improvement requests await, so if you have visions for enhancing our spectral home course, now's the time to speak up. 💰

Nine Ghosts to Go

Week 1 has established our supernatural hierarchy: Zach Taylor hosts the Profit Phantom, Cory Wickline has learned about reading fine print, and the rest of our field has been properly introduced to Marley's warning. Next week brings "Mill Shadows," where the First Spirit arrives and phantom baskets begin appearing in original positions. The haunting has only just begun, and nine more episodes of spectral disc golf await. Return if you dare. 🌙