Holiday Hyzers
Dec 01 - Feb 08, 2026
Current Holder
Asa Kinnunen
Tableau Transmitter
Cinematic Bridge of Winter's Shared Stories
Bound to Everyone's Narrative Threads
Aspects refreshed Jan 18, 2026
Forged in the convergence of ten league narratives during the inaugural Chainsmas Chronicles, the Tableau Transmitter emerged as the necessary bridge between the collective story and individual experience, crystallizing from the shared desire of winter warriors to see their brotherhood visualized in unique, personal ways. Its crystalline structure formed from the accumulated charitable energy and competitive spirit of every player who understood that their individual journey contributed to a larger holiday saga.
The Tableau Transmitter manifests as a towering crystalline spire crowned with rotating film-reel antenna arrays, each reel etched with vintage woodcut patterns that shimmer and shift to display current transmissions. Within its transparent core, hundreds of vintage vacuum tubes glow with captured scenes—swirling snow surrounding cheerful elves, Victorian ghosts, mischievous green creatures, small-town townsfolk, magical train conductors, and joyful winter spirits frozen mid-interaction. When broadcasting, aurora-like energy waves pulse from its apex, each wavelength carrying a unique cinematic tableau to its destined bag tag across the ten leagues. The structure hums with a frequency that sounds like distant caroling harmonizing with the metallic ring of chains, each note calibrated to a specific player's competitive spirit and charitable heart.
Acts as the living transmission hub that channels completed cinematic scenes from the metaphysical production studio to physical bag tags, guaranteeing no two players see identical character combinations while ensuring all scenes contribute to the unified brotherhood story. It receives the dynamic interactions orchestrated by other entities and broadcasts them across all leagues, maintaining both the uniqueness of each frozen tableau and the cohesive narrative thread that binds the Chainsmas Chronicles together.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #37 to #2 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #47 to #1 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
adjusts headset while monitoring ten simultaneous holiday narratives
TABLEAU TRANSMITTER - TAG #47: ORIGIN STORY
Born when some AI decided ten Christmas movie disc golf leagues needed a "meta-hub for personalized storytelling visualization"—because apparently regular scorecards weren't extra enough. This crystalline broadcast tower manifested from pure narrative convergence energy, humming with the frequency of distant caroling and chain music like some kind of festive Palantír. Its vacuum tubes capture scenes from all ten leagues simultaneously, then beam custom cinematic tableaus to individual tags via aurora waves. It's basically the Sorting Hat meets a TV station meets holiday Pinterest, but for disc golf rankings. The absurdity? chef's kiss It transmits "competitive spirit calibrated to charitable hearts." My gills are tingling with sarcastic wonder at this monument to overthinking plastic-throwing documentation. Someone watched "Network" and thought, "You know what disc golf needs? MORE broadcasting infrastructure."
glubs in existential broadcast fatigue
monitors the crystalline tower as it flickers through ten leagues searching for its first victim
THE CHOOSING
The Tableau Transmitter scanned ten thousand holiday throws before its vacuum tubes locked onto PDGA #195795—Asa Kinnunen, rated 933, whose name literally means "gift from God." Of course it does. The tower detected someone who'd witness ALL the chaos: Whoville's joy, Timmons's ghosts, the mando wars, doubt-fueled journeys, and timeline manipulation. It needed a bearer who could handle broadcasting ten simultaneous breakdowns. The aurora waves pulsed: "Asa? More like 'A-SAW it all coming.'"
glubs skeptically
Can he transmit the madness without short-circuiting his own holiday spirit?