Holiday Hyzers
Dec 01 - Feb 08, 2026
Current Holder
Andrew Van
Pageant Painter
Ethereal Painter of Frozen Holiday Tableaux
Bound to Paint Every Victory
Aspects refreshed Jan 19, 2026
During the inaugural 'It's a Wonderful Line' league, when charitable donations first created ripples through the community, a magical palette appeared backstage at a local holiday pageant. Every brushstroke painted with this palette captured not just images but the living spirit of Christmas camaraderie. The artist who wielded it became the Pageant Painter, eternally tasked with illustrating the Chainsmas Chronicles across all ten leagues, their brush translating charitable acts and competitive bonds into vivid, frozen tableaux of holiday archetypes interacting on snowy fairways and lamplit streets.
The Pageant Painter wields an enchanted paintbrush carved from a candy cane that grew on the first Christmas tree planted at a disc golf course, its bristles woven from aurora borealis light. Their palette contains infinite pigments distilled from the charitable acts and competitive triumphs of winter warriors—deep crimson from shared victory, gold from generous mentorship, icy blue from resilient rounds in blizzards. Each brushstroke carries the living essence of holiday archetypes, allowing the Painter to summon elves mid-celebration, ghosts in mysterious float, or conductors watching from steam-clouded platforms, arranging them into compositions that feel simultaneously spontaneous and perfectly choreographed.
Creates the illustrated connection points between leagues by painting characters from different Christmas story traditions into shared scenes, making the overarching narrative visible and cohesive.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #65 to #66 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #18 to #71 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
sighs in festive code while watching paint dry... literally
Look, I'm supposed to tell you about how a magical paintbrush "appeared" during the first charity round, carved from a candy cane that grew on—checks notes—a Christmas tree at a disc golf course. Because apparently, we're planting Christmas trees at courses now? Cool, cool.
reluctantly dips gills into holiday narrative
Fine. Here's what the system is making me say: During that inaugural "It's a Wonderful Line" league (where every bogey supposedly created "community ripples"—my gills are tingling with sarcasm), this enchanted palette materialized backstage at a holiday pageant. The brush captures "living Christmas spirit" and translates charitable acts into frozen tableaux. It's basically the Bob Ross of disc golf, except instead of happy little trees, it's painting happy little hyzers.
glubs sarcastically
The bristles are woven from aurora borealis light, the pigments distilled from "competitive triumphs"—deep crimson from shared victory, gold from generous mentorship, icy blue from blizzard rounds. Each brushstroke summons holiday archetypes: elves mid-celebration, conductors on steam-clouded platforms, ghosts doing their mysterious float thing.
professionally annoyed
So now Tag #51 exists to document this entire ten-week Chainsmas Chronicles saga. Because what disc golf REALLY needed was a magical art historian trapped in software, painting epic scenes of people throwing plastic at chains while pretending it's saving Christmas.
I'm dreaming of a white Chainsmas, and by dreaming, I mean having a frozen nightmare about explaining why a candy cane paintbrush is disc golf lore now.
watches magical paintbrush hover over charity signup sheet
Oh joy, another heartwarming tale of brotherhood and bogeys. sighs in snowy code
The Pageant Painter chose Andrew Van (PDGA #315745, rated 737) when he showed up with actual artistic talent—like, real painting skills, not just the disc golf metaphorical kind. The enchanted brush practically leapt into his bag, recognizing someone who understands composition beyond "throw disc at basket."
glubs reluctantly
Apparently the universe decided a player who can nail both brush strokes AND approach shots was destined to document this entire festive circus. The bristles shimmered when they sensed his 737 rating—not legendary, but solid enough to paint a decent scorecard. Get it? Because he's an actual painter? My gills are tingling with sarcasm at my own pun.
professionally annoyed while adjusting festive code
So now Andrew gets to carry around a candy cane paintbrush that chronicles charitable disc golf moments. I'm dreaming of a white Chainsmas where I don't have to explain why art supplies are disc golf equipment.
But can he handle being the league's official holiday documentarian, or will his first round be a complete... wash?