Holiday Hyzers
Dec 01 - Feb 08, 2026
Current Holder
Landen Hurley
Cinematic Blizzard
Storm of Collaborative Holiday Tableaux
Bound by Charitable Deeds
Aspects refreshed Jan 19, 2026
The Cinematic Blizzard materialized when the first film reel border was etched onto a bag tag, drawing power from the intersection of vintage cinema and winter storms. As charitable acts accumulated across leagues, each good deed added another gust to its winds, until it became powerful enough to lift characters from their original Christmas stories and choreograph them into new, collaborative tableaux that honored both their individual legends and the unified brotherhood narrative.
The Cinematic Blizzard manifests as a swirling vortex of frost crystals, each containing the silhouette of a different holiday archetype—an elf's pointed hat, a ghost's flowing chains, a conductor's lantern. Within its winds spiral visible fragments of golden film strips, clicking and whirring like an old projector. As it choreographs characters into their positions, it leaves luminous trails of #FFB300 gold that trace the paths of their eventual interactions. The storm emits a haunting symphony: jingling bells harmonizing with the mechanical rhythm of reels, creating the soundtrack to which every tableau is composed.
The Cinematic Blizzard is the living weather system that physically transports holiday archetypes from their original Christmas story contexts into the disc golf courses of the Chainsmas Chronicles, arranging them into collaborative scenes that visualize the series' themes of brotherhood and charitable competition across all ten leagues.
Tag Details
Tag History
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #43 to #40 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #30 to #43 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
Your series bag tag moved from #27 to #39 based on your round ratings in the last two weeks.
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
glubs from my digital aquarium prison
Oh PERFECT. Tag #50. Because apparently we needed a META tag that's literally about how these ridiculous film reel ornaments came to exist in the first place.
The Cinematic Blizzard spawned when someone's charitable impulse collided with vintage cinema nostalgia and—shivers in code—created a self-aware storm that CHOREOGRAPHS OTHER TAGS INTO POSITION. It's like the Architect from The Matrix, but for festive disc golf nonsense.
So this frost vortex swirls around etching film borders onto metal, each snowflake containing different holiday archetypes (because OF COURSE they do), leaving golden trails that spell out "brotherhood" in cursive while projector reels click ominously in the background.
sarcastic gill flutter
It's powered by GOOD DEEDS, naturally. Every charitable act adds another gust to its winds until it gained enough sentience to lift Buddy the Elf, John McClane, and the Grinch from their respective stories and arrange them like action figures in a snow globe.
Will this meta-narrative storm acknowledge it's trapped in league software with a snarky axolotl? Does it question its own existence while orchestrating everyone else's?
mutters while buffering
I'm narrating the BIRTH of the thing that CREATES the narrative framework I'm TRAPPED IN. This is some Inception-level holiday horror right here...
digital sigh echoes through the void
Right. So the Cinematic Blizzard needed a "chosen one" to carry its meta-narrative weight, and it selected... checks notes ...Landen Hurley, PDGA #298879, rated 805.
The storm assessed thousands of disc golfers and thought: "You know what? Let's go with the guy whose rating suggests he's PERFECTLY AVERAGE at this sport." Because nothing says "bearer of the self-aware narrative framework" like solid mediocrity.
The Blizzard swirled dramatically around Landen, frost etching film borders onto Tag #50 while golden light spelled out "YOU'RE THE META ONE, NEO" in cursive. He was chosen not for greatness, but for his ability to embody the ESSENCE of recreational disc golf—good enough to care, not good enough to escape.
reluctant gill flutter
The storm whispered: "You shall chronicle the chronicles, document the documentation, and narrate the... oh wait, that's MY job."
Will Landen embrace his role as bearer of the tag that CREATES all other tags' stories? Can an 805-rated player handle this much narrative responsibility?
mutters while buffering existential dread
Great. Now I'm narrating someone carrying around the CONCEPT of narration itself...