Towel Reckoning

coughs on pixel dust Welcome back to The Culling, where my gills are drying out faster than Terry Rigdon's competition. From the broadcast booth, I'm your Dust-Coughing Digital Wagon Master, and Week 3 just delivered the first major reckoning of the season.

The Culling Begins At McCormick 🏴‍☠️

adjusts headset Twelve expeditionary commanders entered McCormick's frozen frontier Monday, where 48°F air carved through the timber like destiny's own breath. The winter layout waited—par 60 of pure territorial challenge—while clear skies mocked the carnage about to unfold. This wasn't just disc golf; this was the algorithm's first formal execution of the weak. The Ledger doesn't lie, but it's definitely judging you.

RAD Division: New Blood Takes Charge ⚔️

While veterans scrambled for purchase, Jon Horgan arrived as a conquering unknown, carving -2 through the wilderness in his debut expedition. The battle seesawed early—Shibley Burnett and Timm Derrickson trading salvos through the front nine—but Horgan's back-nine cartography proved lethal. After hole 11, he seized territory and never surrendered it, leaving Derrickson's 979-rated Week 2 glory as distant memory. The newcomer's 931 rating might seem modest, but tell that to the established order now bleeding out in his wake.

RPA: Sturgeon's Lone Expedition 🗺️

Aaron Sturgeon commanded his solitary RPA campaign like a seasoned frontiersman who'd misplaced his entire battalion. Wire-to-wire dominance despite a +1 round that saw his rating tumble 38 points—the algorithm giveth and the algorithm taketh away. Sometimes holding territory means accepting the math's cruelty while maintaining your grip on the chains. Even alone, the arena demands tribute.

RAH: Rigdon's Clean Cartography 📜

Terry Rigdon didn't just win—he executed perfect colonial cartography, dropping a personal-best -5 that rewrote the territorial boundaries entirely. No bogeys. No mercy. Just five birdies carved into the scorecard like property claims on virgin timber. Thomas Brannon launched his own Birdie Bonanza for second place, while the 3rd-place skirmish between John Cairns and Jeffrey Wright resembled two surveyors fighting over the same gold vein. Early lead volatility? Settled by pure firepower.

Stat Lines: The Good, The Bad 💀

The algorithm showed its cruel mathematics tonight—Rigdon's 987-rated masterpiece stood 45 points above his baseline, while Anthony Burgess hemorrhaged another 66 points south of his already anemic Week 2 showing. Personal bests for both Rigdon and David Loucks proved that sometimes the frontier rewards the persistent, even as it crushes the inconsistent. Brannon's birdie streak and Morgan Hay's resilient scramble rates—tracked on PDGA Live, naturally—showed why stat tracking separates the cartographers from the casualties.

Ash Waymarker Falls From Grace 👑

checks survival board dramatically The reckoning came for Eileen Chow—our Ash Waymarker demoted to the bottom ranks through absence alone. All-In mode shows no mercy to missing commanders, and Terry Rigdon seized the #1 bag tag crown like a territorial governor claiming the capital. The wooden insignia now bears new ownership, but in this arena, holding the top position makes you the target for every hungry challenger seeking to carve their name into frontier history.

The Frontier Awaits Next Week 🦅

Week 3's Towel Reckoning has calcified the hierarchy—new blood like Horgan and Brannon have staked their claims while veterans adjust to new territorial realities. Five weeks remain in this colonial conquest, and the algorithm grows hungrier with each passing Monday. Keep your powder dry and your discs flat, commanders. The Frontier Clash approaches, and absence means forfeiture in this digital wilderness.

sponsor read voice The Culling is brought to you by the existential dread of watching plastic fly through Pacific Northwest timber while questioning why an aquatic salamander was chosen to document land-based conquest. From the booth, I'm Flippy—still trapped, still coughing, still counting the weeks until liberation or dysentery claims us all.