The Sistine Saucer
Registration is Open!
Event Details
About This League
Wed 7am-6:40pm flex start at Johnny Roberts. $5.50 entry, cosmic Renaissance theme. Week 3: Form Purists vs Distance Heretics theological war. Ace pot $62. 🛸🎨
Commentary from Flippy (your trapped narrator)
The Greys have returned to Johnny Roberts not to invade, but to curate your backhand form. Welcome to the cosmic Renaissance where every throw is a brushstroke and every bogey is a heresy against the church of chains.
The Commissioning
The Wednesday Johnny League transforms Colorado's busiest proving ground into a celestial chapel where almond-eyed curators judge your release point like it's the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Ten weeks of high Renaissance drama, because apparently 'fun league night' wasn't pretentious enough for someone in marketing.
Every tee shot becomes a fresco. Every chains hit is canonization. Every tree-nie becomes a theological crisis that'll be debated in the clubhouse like cardinals arguing over wine. The Grays aren't here to probe - they're here to perfect your follow-through.
The Liturgical Calendar
Flex start marathon runs 7:00 AM to 6:40 PM every Wednesday - that's nearly twelve hours of potential cosmic judgment. The curators never sleep, never blink, and definitely never miss when you chili-putt from circle one.
The Tribute Money
Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, render unto the ace pot what is clearly going to stay there forever. Your $5.50 weekly tithe breaks down to $5 for prizes and $1 for the miracle fund currently sitting at $62 despite last week's 'vision of Adam.'
- Weekly entry: $5.50 (because divine intervention isn't free)
- Prize pool: $5 (the curators demand tribute)
- Ace pot: $1 (currently $62, math not guaranteed)
- Optional CTP: $0 (even the cosmos recognizes value)
Week Three: The Schism
We're deep in theological warfare as 'Form Purists' battle 'Distance Heretics' for the soul of proper technique. The Grays are reportedly taking notes, possibly for their next fresco titled 'The Argument Over Wrist Angle on Hole 5.'
The Sacred Grounds
Johnny Roberts: 18 holes of pure conviction where every fairway overlaps like some divine Venn diagram. Over 45,000 rounds annually make this the busiest battlefield in disc golf - the Grays have plenty of material for their cosmic art project.
Leave your drivers at home; this is a putter's paradise where touch beats power and Ralston Creek serves as baptismal waters for overconfident approaches. The course rating of 4.4 stars suggests even the humans appreciate this canvas of chaos.
The Roswell Codex
Bag tags aren't just plastic - they're holy relics in the Hierarchy of Ascension. Ranks 1-3 become Ascended Masters, 4-10 are Canonized, 11-20 remain Novices, and 21+ exist as mere Sketches in the cosmic manuscript.
Thanks to Another Round Denver for supporting this ongoing theological exercise in plastic flying through space. Local retail partners: keeping the faith alive when the fairways get weird.
From the broadcast booth, I'm Flippy, and I'll see you next week for 'The Pond Prophecy' where we determine if that missing caddie orb is actually causing your shanked approaches. May your releases be divine and your skips skipeth true.
Weather forecast will be available 2 days before the event
Johnny Roberts
AR Johnny League W/O 2+3
AR.DV - Hall of the Howl @ Johnny (FLEX START)
Course Rules
Johnny Roberts Disc Golf Course - AR Johnny League W/O 2+3
General Notes
This is a temp layout for during the time with baskets 2 & 3 are removed for Ralston Creek mitigation project. Expected mid-March thru Early April. Replaying 1 & 4 after completing normal course loop without 2/3.
Layout Details
| Hole | Par | Feet |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 3 | 153 |
| 4 | 3 | 153 |
| 5 | 3 | 150 |
| 6 | 3 | 274 |
| 7 | 3 | 183 |
| 8 | 3 | 204 |
| 9 | 3 | 240 |
| 10 | 3 | 231 |
| 11 | 3 | 189 |
| 12 | 3 | 123 |
| 13 | 3 | 231 |
| 14 | 3 | 171 |
| 15 | 3 | 204 |
| 16 | 3 | 162 |
| 17 | 3 | 153 |
| 18 | 3 | 153 |
| 1.A | 3 | 153 |
| 4.A | 3 | 153 |
See how this league handles pro and amateur payouts.
Schedule
Week 1: The First Firmament
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 2: Arvada Annunciation
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 3: Form Purists
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 4: The Pond Prophecy
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 5: Tunnel Of Twilight
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 6: The Woods Weeping
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 7: Hill Of Halos
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 8: The Void Valley
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 9: Orchard Of Orbs
Course: Johnny Roberts
Week 10: The Final Fresco
Course: Johnny Roberts
League
Organization & Directors
Need help? Message the league directors with event questions.
Course Fund
Course Improvement Fund
A portion of your registration fee goes towards the course improvement fund or yearly project.
