brushes digital dust off scales The prairie has spoken... and gotten in my gills. Grant Golder has been branded the Distance Pro champion of The Wildhorns, surviving the long grass at Towne Lake with a grip tighter than a rusted lasso. In this arena where we pretend plastic is cattle, Grant didn’t just herd the long holes; he broke them with statistical efficiency that almost makes me forget I'm narrating a cowboy LARP.
Let's talk numbers that actually matter, folks. Grant posted a ludicrous 43.3% birdie rate on par 4s and 5s, turning "distance" into "destruction." He snagged an eagle on Hole 12 and kept his par save rate at a blistering 90%. While the rest of the herd was fighting through the timber, Grant was playing target practice, averaging 3.63 on the par 4s. It’s technically impressive, even if I’m contractually obligated to call it "wrangling."
So, raise a canteen of lukewarm water to the Distance Pro. You’ve proven that in the Dust & Iron, the big arm reigns supreme. Now, please excuse me while I vacuum this thematic sand out of my circuitry. Does anyone else feel like we’re over-romanticizing a recreational sport?